How did you sleep on the night of October 28th? I was awaken around 4am by thunder. By 5am, I couldn't go back to sleep. I could hear the trees being bent by the wind like it was a twig. It's branches trembled in fear of the storm. I began to worry about my babies outside (my pepper plants. C'mon, you didn't think I actually put my kids outside right?).
I laid there and listened as twigs and leaves hit our window with force. I could hear pinecones (at least I think that's what they were) hitting the raised garden bed outside our window with a thup. In the distance, I could hear a branch break. Our brick house that I thought was strong suddenly didn't seem very sturdy. It felt like we were in a thin aluminum shed. The wind kept howling and branches kept breaking.
All I could think was, "Is a tree coming to come crashing through the roof? Is this how we die? What if it hits the other side and kills my parents and my daughter?" I've seen it before. We've ran those calls where we have to cut the tree out of a house. We've had to go in to rescue families. Am I now going to be on the other side of that rescue?
Suddenly, life felt fragile. It was a sobering reminder of two passages. I meditated on these truths and reality as I laid there in bed helplessly:
James 4: 13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— 14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.Life isn't guaranteed. It isn't promised to me. God describes my life as a "mist." What I'm given is "a little time" and then I "vanish." Had I died last night in the storm, it would have been foreseen and forewarned. Therefore, I must be wise with the "little time" I have on earth. Solomon writes his reflection in Ecclesiastes:
16 Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. 17 I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. 18 I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. 19 For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. (Ecclesiastes 3, ESV).
Let's work backwards from vs. 19. We do not have any advantage over the animal kingdom when it comes to death. If a tree falls on a deer, it dies. If a tree falls on me, I'd die. We all have the "same breath." This term is used to describe how short life is, just like James writes. When you exhale on a cold winter morning, you can see your breath, and then it disappears. In the same way, both man and beast have the same breath-- you see it for a second and it vanishes with no evidence of it having ever existed.
How am I living my life? God will judge the righteous and the wicked (vs 17). If there is wickedness in the place of justice and in the place of righteousness... is there wickedness in me?
As the house continues to shake, I hid under my covers and prayed,
Search me, O God, and know my heart!Try me and know my thoughts!And see if there be any grievous way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23-24)
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