14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
~ Matthew 5:14-16
I recently spoke with a gentleman who struggled with the strict holiness codes/laws of God, specifically pertaining to sexual sins. To help us navigate the conversation and protect the identity of this individual, let's name him "Lucas." (Name and details slightly altered to protect this individual's identity, but the core of the event remains true.)
Lucas finds it hard to believe in a God who cares so much about individual's sexual lives and/or lifestyles.
"Just because you're gay, you automatically go to Hell? Why can't a guy who really loves his girlfriend move in with her? Why does God care whether or not they have sex? "
Each question was loaded with assumptions and we took the time to address them. Each scenario was approached from multiple angles and answering the questions with other scenarios. He could kind of see the biblical points and defenses but still feels that the God of Christianity is not compassionate at all. Our conversation breaks off into other random topics.
Lucas then shared about a friend who was going through some troubles in the home:
"The husband is having an affair. He is thinking of leaving his family and run off with this girl. Why is he so inconsiderate?! Doesn't he know he is going to crush his wife's spirit? Doesn't he know he's going to destroy the life of his children?? He's so selfish! Ugh. It makes me not believe in true love anymore."
"Hmm. What do you think your friend should do, Lucas?" Lucas strongly suggested, "He needs to call it off and make it right." Perfect. Within Lucas exists a moral compass. He doesn't know why it points the way it does, but he just "feels" it. Lucas is still made in the image of God. I directed the conversation:
Lucas, you're right. What he should do is to break things off with her. "Yeah!" replied Lucas. He should not even go near her; delete all her messages and block her. Yeah! This won't be easy, but your friend needs to be honest with his wife and tell her what happened. Then he needs to ask for forgiveness, never do it again, and rebuilt their trust and and pursue her in marriage. Yeah!
I smiled. I told Lucas that everything I just told him is exactly what God has commanded. God holds high expectation for His people when it comes to marriage because it is a testimony of the resurrection and the unique identity of the followers of Jesus. I told him that the solution I proposed was from the books of: Matthew, Proverbs, Psalms, Songs of Songs, 1 Timothy, Ephesians, Colossians, and James. God, in His sovereignty and wisdom, set up fences and barriers to protect the wife and kids by setting strict laws that Lucas' friend must follow. In breaking those laws, it would ultimately hurt the wife and kids.
Lucas was taken aback and (surprisingly) acknowledged that God's law was right and good. His spirit resonated with the law of its Creator. At this point, I reminded Lucas that it was for our own good and the good of society that God "cares so much about individual's sexual lives and/or lifestyles." I flexed. It felt great to point Lucas to the goodness of God! ...until Lucas said,
"Then why don't I see this in the church?"
He began to talk about his Christian friends who have done similar things, and of pastors who ran off with their secretary. I wanted to cry tears of anger and sadness. Why do those stories get all the attention? Why are they the first to come to mind? Why did those "believers" ruin it for the rest of us? Sadly, those are the stories he hears about. Our conversation has taught me two things:
- The way we live is a testimony and witness to the goodness of God's laws. Our lives are an example of the power of the resurrection. Like what I said in an earlier post: We are the empty tomb. It is for this reason that the New Testament letters are so detailed about the family structure. It clearly outlines God's expectation for the husbands, wives, children, and work life.
- We need to be transparent and talk about our failures, struggles, flaws, ugliness, and how God redeemed/is redeeming our story. The world is comparing us to see if the "hope" we talk about is R E A L. Without speaking up and speaking out about our brokenness and the healing, the world thinks that we are "just the same" as them. In this dark world, it is essential for us to share because we stand as lighthouses. We must let our light shine so that the world may give glory to our Father. May our story of redemption be bolder and louder than the story of "bad Christians" and "bad pastors."If we remain silent, their stories will be the only ones being told. It will be the only stories that the lost hear about. I refuse.
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